Toddler Tantrum Troubles Trafford

I’m sure most people have heard about the John Lewis toddler tantrum story by now. If not, where have you been? 

Media outlets are going crazy over the story that a Mum was asked to leave (or not) the John Lewis store in the Trafford Centre as a customer complained about her 16-month old having a temper tantrum.

The first problem is how the story reached the press in the first place. If this had happened to me I’m not sure my first response would be to take it to the local paper.

The second problem with the story is that there are varying accounts of the facts. John Lewis have issued a statement saying that the employee did not escort the lady from the store but did ask her to leave, whereas the mum in question is insistent she was escorted from the store. In either case, John Lewis have apologised and said that the incident was not handled properly.

The third problem is that stories like these invite the most idiotic comments from some of the most annoying people you are likely to come across: the Perfect Parent Police. These people (the PPP as they shall now be known) may or may not have children of their own but are apparently fully qualified to dish out advice to complete strangers both on-line and in person.

In my experience, toddlers (particularly 2nd, 3rd, 4th children) are incredibly wilful beings who fully believe they are masters of their own destiny as well as the destiny of everyone around them. They are strange beasts who can go from delighted laughter to full on throw-yourself-on-the-floor tantrums at a speed Usain Bolt would be proud of.

I know this because I am currently in possession of a particularly delightful 3 year old who up until recently thought public temper tantrums were some kind of competitive sport. In fact I think the Department for Education are missing a trick in not assessing this as part of the Early Years Foundation Stage. Our nursery class would probably top some kind of league table.

I have carried on a conversation in the playground whilst he has rolled around on the floor. I have asked someone else to pick up the 7 year old from school whilst the 3 year old rolls around on the floor outside the park (having a park on the school run route is not ideal). I have waited outside the car whilst he kicks and screams about having to get out of the car and I have spent 20 minutes with a friend trying to strap him into his car seat because he quite fancied walking. (3 year old’s are remarkably strong!)

I have spent an incredibly painful 30 minutes waiting for the 7 year old to finish his swimming lesson whilst the 3 year old (then 2) kicked and screamed because I put him in his pushchair to prevent him from drowning. He managed to flip the pushchair over and kicked me so hard I had a bruise on my shin for a week after. On this particular occasion a fellow mum offered me chocolate, whether it was for the toddler or me I wasn’t clear but the 2 year old threw it in her face anyway!

One of the hardest lessons I learnt is that sometimes you have to let the tantrum happen. As embarrassing, as annoying, as painful as it may seem at the time, it’s a phase that toddlers need to get through. As long as they’re safe (not about to roll into the middle of the road), and it’s not too inconvenient to other people (I’m thinking libraries, public offices, theatres etc. Not shops though, regardless of how posh those shops think they are) then just let it ride out. Eventually you can give them a hug, tell them they’re OK and move on.

The PPP however, do not agree and will go to great lengths to explain this to you.

I love reading the comments which state that temper tantrums are simply evidence of bad parenting and kids shouldn’t be allowed to leave the house if they can’t behave.

I love how parents are lazy if their child is in a buggy but also if they are in reins.

I love how children should automatically know how to behave in public but they shouldn’t be allowed in restaurants, cafes etc. to test such behaviour.

I love how toddlers should be out of nappies but can’t have accidents in public.

I love how parents have to stay at home to look after their children, but also need to be out at work earning their keep.

But my personal favourite is where some sagely woman in a supermarket declares at the till that she had 2 or 3 or 4 or a dozen children thirty years ago, and none of them have ever thrown a tantrum, been naughty, answered back, asked for anything, refused to eat dinner or peed on the equipment in a soft play area.

Sagely woman, on behalf of all parents out there, I salute you. Because, quite frankly you’re talking the biggest load of BS I have ever heard.  Have a good day!