We're Going On A Wine Hunt

So, I've been a little bit quiet recently so in true Blue Peter style, here's something I made earlier!

Some of you will have seen this little poem before on my Facebook page but I figured it deserved another outing.

With apologies to Michael Rosen. It's intended as an affectionate parody, rather than blatant plagiarism - please don't sue me, I'm not worth it...

We're going on a wine hunt

We're going to pour a big one

What a crappy day!

Everyone be scared

Uh-uh! Project homework!
Crappy project homework
We can’t ignore it
We can’t just fudge it
Better just do it
Glue, stick. Glue, stick. Glue, stick.

We’re going on a wine hunt
We’re going to pour a big one
What a crappy day!
Everyone be scared

Uh-uh! A tantrum!
A massive toddler tantrum
We can’t ignore it
Can’t we just ignore it?
We’re going to ignore it
Stamp, kick. Stamp, kick. Stamp, kick

We’re going on a wine hunt
We’re going to pour a big one
What a crappy day!
Everyone be scared

Uh-uh! A dress up day!
Another frigging dress up day
We can’t ignore it
Can we ignore it?
Better just scramble around at midnight pulling together an old curtain and a pair of tights into an anglo-saxon costume. (whilst wishing we’d ignored it)
Sew, swear. Sew, swear. Sew, swear.

We’re going on a wine hunt
We’re going to pour a big one
What a crappy day!
Everyone be scared

Uh-uh! Bed-time!
Apocalyptic bed-time.
We tried to bath it
We tried to calm it
So why is it running round the living room at 10pm in just a pull up acting like a little…?

We’re going on a wine hunt
We’re going to pour a big one
What a crappy day!
Everyone be scared

Uh-uh! The sofa
The lovely comfy sofa.
We can’t move off it.
Don’t want to move off it.
Better just close...our...eyes...on...it…...

Tiptoe! Tiptoe! Tiptoe!
WHAT’s THAT?

One pounding head!
Two bloodshot eyes!
A furry mouth!

IT’S A HANGOVER!

We’re not going on a wine hunt again!

A Weekend in Manchester...Sans Enfants!

I think I've discovered the perfect start to the summer holidays...Dump the kids on Grandma and go have your own grown up/child like fun!

Hubby and I headed out into the big city on Friday night for some whisky blending fun. Two hours later we emerged slightly more knowledgeable (although, please don't test me because, you know...whisky drinking) armed with two plastic bottles of personalised and 'unique' blends secreted in the inner pocket of hubby's coat.

Next stop, food! So off we went in search of some very fashionable, uber trendy chicken in a basket washed down with a root beer. Tick!

Our last call of the night was the Cloud 23 bar at the Hilton which has been on my 'must-do' list for a while. After queuing on the 'carpeted area' for a while we were finally allowed access to the lift by the guy pretending to be Kiefer Sutherland in 24. The views were pretty breathtaking and it triggered a memory of a very similar bar we'd been in in Havana, Cuba. You know, before kids...

We took a few obligatory selfies whilst waiting for our drinks to arrive when it suddenly occurred to me that I was enclosed in a glass case 23 stories up, with only a guarded lift as my escape route. Cue the mild panic attack. So we paid over £20 for two drinks which were left mainly untouched on the table, I imagine to the bemusement of the lovely waitress who apparently earned a 10% tip according to the bill...

But this is where the real excitement starts! On Saturday I dragged hubby to Comic Con!

I donned my Lt Uhura dress and knee boots, attracting the attention of a particular guy on the tram who wasn't sure where to look so just took to staring at regular intervals.

And then the queuing began...the loooong snaking walking queue to get in, the queue to buy a £2.50 bottle of warm Sprite. But nothing could dampen my enthusiasm, although I'm not sure I can say the same for hubby.

I browsed the stalls like a kid let loose in a sweet shop - how much memorabilia could I possibly acquire? And where the hell could I put it all? In the end I settled for a mystery box (oooooh!), a cuddly Captain Kirk (obviously), a signed book about strange goings on at a fictional University set in Lancaster (sounds intriguing), a board game (my first proper board game beyond the likes of Monopoly) and some bits for the kids (figured I shouldn't forget about them completely).

I returned Vulcan salutes, had a chat with a guy about 2 year degrees, saw Robert Llewelyn and Warwick Davis, stood near the 'Iron Throne', was blown away by some pretty awesome cos-play, was referred to as Lieutenant by a fellow Trekkie and had my photo taken with some random guy who liked my outfit...

It was AWESOME!! An incredibly inclusive, fun , not-your-typical Saturday afternoon out.

After a quick pint (Lt Uhura and the newly acquired Captain Kirk were now off duty) we headed home for our first piece of board game action. We played Pandemic three times and saved the world twice - not bad for newbies!

A bottle of Prosecco and a wee dram later and I managed to pull a muscle sitting on the floor playing Rummikub - the well known extreme sport! I then headed off to bed with some paracetamol to frequent cries of 'ow, ooh, ah' and not for good reasons...

So, as I contemplate picking the kids up I reflect on a pretty amazing weekend. Turning over 100% of the summer holidays to the kids is totally over-rated. I thoroughly recommend taking a weekend to reconnect with your inner child - or in my case, geek!

This is a Party Political Broadcast...

In this time of national crisis we need a strong leader. 

A leader who can unite the country under a banner of common ideals. 

A leader who will not shy away from the challenge at hand but will meet it head on. 

A leader who knows what needs to be done but can do it whilst rocking a killer pair of kitten heels.

I therefore hereby announce the formation of the Power to Parents Party (PPP). My manifesto is as follows:

• Extra funding for the research and development of hangover-free alcohol and fat free chocolate.
• Free babysitters for all on Friday nights.
• Children's bedroom doors will be set on a time-lock at weekends, only opening at 9am.
• Any child waking up at 3am will be deemed to have breached the human rights of the parents and dealt with accordingly.
• All children's extra-curricular activities will be outlawed before 11am at the weekend.
• Detention without trial for all under 18's with the sign off of at least 1 parent.
• An immediate end to school 'dress up' days.
• An immediate end to 'project homework'.
• Children's birthday parties will consist of sausage and pineapple on sticks with a round of musical chairs and pass the parcel. All other forms of birthday celebration (football parties, bouncy castle hire, rock climbing, crafts etc.) will be outlawed.
• At least 1 'duvet day' per month per parent with Mary Poppins on speed-dial.
• The Panini company will be banned from creating any more sticker albums.
• The following programmes will be banned: Numberjacks, Paw Patrol, Topsy and Tim and anything that has been subject to a 'remake' (i.e. Bob the Builder, Danger Mouse, Teletubbies, Postman Pat, The Clangers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles etc. etc)
• YouTube will be immediately taken down with anyone caught 'vlogging' being subject to detention without trial.
• Wifi codes will be changed weekly and only made available when the bins have been taken out and clothes put back in drawers/cupboards.

As a mum, I feel I am more than qualified to run the country on this mandate and I have it on good authority that dads can be quite useful at times as well. 

Membership of the party is now open and changes/additions to the manifesto will be considered when submitted in triplicate to the PPP committee at least 6 months before the relevant meeting. 

Cheques supporting the campaign can be made payable to the PPP (US dollars only please). I look forward to your support. 

*Thank you very much.......doo, doo, doo, doo. Right. Good*

POWER TO PARENTS!

Fundraising Fatigue?

I've been the Co-Chair of my local primary school PTA for 4 years now and in that time the PTA has gone from strength to strength. 

I've tracked down missing ice-cream vans, detached £1 coins super-glued to reply forms in the wee hours of the morning, tried to work out who exactly the Christmas card design with no name in a school of over 400 belongs to, harangued people to buy tickets via Facebook and spent hours costing juice cartons at every available retailer in the Greater Manchester area. 

I've written minutes and annual reports, contributed to newsletters (late almost every week it should be added), designed leaflets, taken photos and flexed my event management muscles. 

I've laughed, I've cried and I've also needed the odd glass of vino to calm down. But overall it's been an incredible experience. 

I've made new friends and become a part of the school community. And all this whilst looking after a young baby/toddler. In fact, I was almost 8 months pregnant when I volunteered and can clearly remember running home from my first Christmas fair with leaky boobs to feed the 6 week old! (Too much info?)

In the time that I've been involved with the PTA, the committee have experienced births, deaths, marriages, illness and hospital stays. We've looked after each others kids when things don't quite go to plan. We've shed a tear or two, offered shoulders to cry on and visits to the pub when a shoulder just isn't enough. We've drunk copious amounts of coffee and spent hours crafting, crocheting, cutting and glueing.

And it's not just the committee. We're fortunate to have a dedicated bunch of volunteers willing to run stalls, sell coffee, set up events, fold raffle tickets and anything else we can set our mind to! 

Just not as many volunteers as we would like...but that's a different issue!

Last year we hit the £10k target for the first time and I was over the moon. We've funded iPads and books, cooking and sporting equipment, activities and trips, music projects and much much more. 

All of a sudden the hard work seemed worthwhile! 

But then reality hit. 

We'd have to do it all again next year!

I had 'Fundraising Fatigue'. 

Why can't someone else do it? Does anyone really care? What's the point? Another bake sale? Aaaaaaaaaah!

A few of us felt stuck in a rut. New fundraising ideas were rejected at meetings and we felt we were rehashing the same ideas over and over again. A case of 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it!'

The consensus was to 'Keep Calm and Carry on' (the cliches are coming thick and fast at the moment!) and so we did. We arranged the fairs and the bake sales and the Christmas cards and the Mother's Day gifts and the Father's Day gifts... and we're on track to smash the £10k mark again this year.

Was I simply stuck in a rut or is it time to move on? It's hard to know and at least I've got until September to mull it over.

What is certain is that our school PTA is an incredible organisation supported not only by the committee, but by parents, staff and pupils. So I'm dedicating this blog post to all my PTA friends, past and present. To those that listen to me moan on a daily basis and to those that are always available via Facebook Messsenger. To those that apologise for not being able to do more and to those who do whatever they can.

Will I continue in role? Possibly... Probably... 

Depends whether the school and parents still want me. Or whether a slightly hormonal, heavily pregnant, over-eager mum turns up to the AGM. See you there!

Moving On...

You've probably gathered now that I'm firmly in the Remain camp. Two days on and I'm still angry, confused and upset over the decision. But the majority have spoken.

If I put aside for the moment concerns about the economy, about jobs, about political stability and so on, what has really worried me over the past 24 hours is the way people are treating each other.

There have been some messages on Facebook which I've found genuinely upsetting. Members of the Leave camp telling others to grow up, to get over themselves, to stop being hysterical. Members of the Remain camp making personal and insulting comments about those that have voted to Leave.

These kind of comments show a basic lack of understanding and compassion for what other people are going through. The irony being that the people making these kind of comments are banging on about democracy in action and then want to deny people their freedom of speech.

And let's face it. If the vote had gone the other way we would be seeing exactly the same kind of uproar on social media, just the other way round. 

I've seen debates go on for weeks in the media about the winner of the Great British Bake Off, about dogs cheating on Britain's Got Talent, about controversial voting in X Factor and yet only 24 hours after a vote which could potentially change every aspect of our lives we're supposed to just accept and it move on!

The real cause of anxiety for many people is the fear of the unknown. No-one really knows what's going to happen and there will probably be winners and losers. But I do believe that this will impact people's lives.

What about the Brit living and working in continental Europe who is paid in sterling and suddenly has no idea how much money they have to live on?

What about the Europeans living in the UK, or the Brits living abroad who suddenly have no idea what their future holds?

What about those working for companies based in the UK who may see their job shifted to the continent?

Only 2 days on and we're already hearing that the House of Commons is in turmoil. 

One of the shadow cabinet is sacked and approximately half have threatened to leave. 

The Prime Minister has stepped down and somewhat churlishly refused to action Article 50 until his successor is in place. 

The Conservative party are fighting over who will be the next PM and are already backtracking and saying there is no need to rush to invoke Article 50 while the EU are telling us to get out already! 

The Lib Dems wade in by saying they will rejoin the EU if elected, but I think you'll find they don't want us after this! 

Some organisations and countries around the world must be rubbing their hands together in glee at the fact that we've pressed the 'Self-Destruct' button,

A petition demanding another referendum has reached over 2 million signatories and will therefore have to be debated in Parliament. Personally I think this is a backwards step. After all the pain the referendum has caused why the hell would we want to go through all that again? And where does it end? If the vote went the other way on the second attempt would the Leave campaign demand another referendum. 

We have to accept the decision and plan for the future but we also need to understand that some people will find this difficult. 

The irony is that at the moment we've chosen to break free we actually need to show unity. We need to stand together to make the best of what we have. And the first thing we can do is show compassion towards our friends who might feel differently to us. 

People are upset. Let them scream. Let them shout. Freedom of speech is one of the important pillars of our society. Let's not lose that as well. 

Better Out Than In?

I promised myself I wouldn't touch the keyboard today but my fingers are twitching and better out than in...apparently.

The Kubler-Ross Change Curve, also known as the 5 stages of grief, is widely used to try and help people understand and manage their feelings whilst going through a period of change. I'm firmly entrenched in stage 1: shock and denial, and decided to get my initial thoughts down before I move into stage 2: anger and blame.

I went to bed about 1am last night. There was no way that I could stay up and still function today so I decided to call it a night. I slept fitfully, waking at 3am and 4am, checking my phone for updated results. When I woke at 6.45 the decision had been made. We're out.

I'm devastated. There are simply no other words for it. 

Cameron played the biggest gamble of his political career and he lost. But he didn't just lose for himself, he lost for all of us and now he's simply stepped aside to let others clear up the mess (some stage 2 feelings creeping in there!)

The past few weeks have seen some truly ugly scenes and I fear that this is only the beginning. A 52% win for the Leave side is by no means a landslide and there are millions of people who will feel lost and disenfranchised by the decision.

The school playground was abuzz with political chatter this morning, groups of parents standing round after drop off to discuss the outcome. The vast majority appear to be in shock. Fearful of the future.

Having said that I have friends and family who have voted Leave. None of them are the skin headed white supremacists that some people would have you believe, but normal everyday people living normal everyday lives. Whilst the fascists clearly exist they are certainly not in the majority. Leave voters are people like everyone else, concerned about jobs, about democracy, about corruption. They believe they have voted for a better future. I hope they're right.

I fully respect the democratic process and will eventually accept that the majority of the country want this, but at the moment I'm struggling to understand how anyone could want a leap into the great unknown given the instability of the global political climate. 

I'm English. I'm British. I'm European. I'm Human. 

But at the moment I'm struggling to feel proud to be any of them. 

Love versus Hate

We live in a climate of fear.

Fear of boarding a plane, a train a bus. Fear of walking the streets in broad daylight or at night. Fear of acting or fear of not.

Some people are able to deal with these fears head on. Take them in their stride and go about their everyday lives. Others are not so fortunate. 

In the last few weeks at home and abroad we have been reminded almost daily about the horrors around us. 49 people shot dead in a nightclub, an MP brutally shot and stabbed in the street, a road rage incident leaving a man fighting for his life, a young woman killed in a car accident at a notoriously dangerous junction in my home town, another shot dead whilst meeting and greeting fans in the US. And these are only the ones that come to mind.

It's only natural to feel anxious about the world around us when confronted with stories such as these and after the horrors of last Thursday I felt that I had completely lost my faith in humanity. 

The introduction of 24 hour news, of rolling coverage, of social media may mean that we are more informed (although whether being constantly updated with speculation and opinion rather than fact is useful is debatable) but it has also made us more fearful of the world we live in. 

Horrors, tragedies, accidents, atrocities take place on a daily basis around the world and always have done, we are simply more aware of them now. 

I didn't watch the Referendum debate on TV last night, in my mind there is nothing more to be said. The campaigns on both sides have been fuelled by fear, hate and anger with both sides working hard to debunk the facts and statistics presented by the other. There has been nothing positive about this campaign and I have been reminded of a GCSE History project I did (many moons ago!) regarding Nazi propaganda.

In an interview with the Guardian, Brendan Cox said that his wife was killed because of her political views. He said that she had been worried about the direction of politics in the UK and abroad, "particularly about creating division and playing on people's worst fears rather than their best instincts."

Sadly, this seems to be the way that the media and politics work today. Scaring people into submission, into making decisions based on fear and lies. 

Today would have been Jo Cox's birthday and I have decided that today I will not be driven by fear but by love and gratitude. I am grateful for my husband and my boys, for my family spread around the UK and abroad and for my friends who are always there with a shoulder and a cup of coffee. I'm grateful that tomorrow I have the power to go to my local church and put a cross in a box and I'm grateful that I live in a society where I can put my thoughts down on paper and send them out into the world.

Fear and hate may be powerful but they will not rule my life. What will you be grateful for today?